Saturday, December 20, 2008

Procrastination is Not A Four-Letter Word

And yet, we often treat it as if it were some kind of nasty little secret that we must keep hidden away as if no one else ever suffers from such an awful malady.

I know that I am extremely guilty of giving in the fine art of procrastinating and then feeling guilty about it as if I have just committed the most grievous of sins. There is usually a very good reason for my putting off whatever it is that I have decided would be better served by simply waiting. Another day will absolutely be much bettter to write that post, or write that next installment on that blog. Often it is simply that the inspiration is not there, or the lighting is not right or the mood is not right. Of course, it's a good reason, or I would not have given in, right?

The truth is, there are times when I feel guilty simply because I measure myself up against others who are more prolific than I am, but that is wrong, since this is not a race. It is something I do for me, but that I hope that others will enjoy. If I try to write when I am down or my mind is simply blank, more than likely others are not going to enjoy it.

Of course, I also know that many of my excuses are simply that...excuses and they won't hold water if I truly sat down and looked at them closely. There are times when I think that I often hold back from really expressing my feelings or opinions because I know or fear that by doing so, I will expose myself to ridicule or even worse, it might give people an insight to what makes me tick. I like being a person of mystery which is why I enjoy writing so many different characters atPan Historia: I become those characters but when writing a blog, I expose a part of myself, and perhaps I fear that others may find that part of me very boring. As if every one else is perfect and I am the only one who has flaws. But then again, aren't those very flaws that all of us have the very thing that often make us the most interesting?

Still, no matter if it's a good excuse or not, I proudly claim the title of most prolific or should that be 'non-prolific' "Procrastinator" though I suspect there are others who have already claimed the title of this year's president of the Procrastinatior's Society.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Searching for That Wild Eyed Elusive Creature, My Muse, Whose Greatest Joy in Life Seems to be as Slippery and Evasive as an Eel in Hiding

Sometimes it seems as if something conspires to keep me from writing, even a sentence or two, for just as soon as I sit down at the computer, my mind goes absolutely blank. Of course, I know that's all in my mind and that there are no outside forces which are determined to keep me from writing just because they are afraid that once I sit down to write that what will flow from my fingertips is going to be incomparable, breathless prose, which would threaten their very existence. Although I guess it might at that, for it certainly would threaten the very existence of boredom and a feeling of inevitablity and futility and sameness of being that exists as long as I sit here with my fingers poised above the keys, staring blindly at the screen, hoping and praying for just one word, any word that will get my mind and fingers to work together in a synchronized movement that flows so effortlessly that I am slightly breathless when it is over.

Although what comes forth from these fingers and my mind could and should be outstanding and has almost reached that peak of perfection at times , but most times it is just an everyday mundane effort to put my thoughts into some kind of order which is difficult considering the absolute chaos that reigns in my mind most days. better than nothing I suppose but I want it to be something powerful that will make people sit up when they read it and either laugh or shake their heads in recognition, as if to say, 'I know that feeling.'

Of course, I am my own worse critic and so when I sit here, some great idea may just be simmering beneath the surface, trying to give voice, but for some reason, I refuse to admit that it might actually be of interest to anyone but myself.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Indecision...But, not for long.

Maybe I should have gone with Reckless Meanderings, because there may be times when my mouth gets me in trouble.

Now, for the second day of blogging, it's not a lack of subjects to blog about but an overabundance of things to vent about, ramble on about or just plain be happy about.

After all, tomorrow is Thanksgiving and a time to stop and give thanks for all our blessings, and yes, I know that things seem really bleak and scary this year, but even so, there is still much to give thanks for.

For myself, I have my loving family, all my wonderful friends, especially those that I've made at I know that it will be a busy season for most of us, what with all the holiday cooking and oh, yes, the eating , and watching Macy's Thanksgiving Parade(always a tradition at our house) and 'now how many games of football did they say were on, honey?'(my remark with a groan, though I do watch, along with all the rest) and eating again...after all, we had to go back for seconds as well as the dessert that we missed the first time around.
*note* Notice the turkey is still dancing, which means that it has not been cooked yet and so thinks that it has escaped to dance again another year. *shrugs* perhaps, perhaps not...

Finding a Title

For me the problem of finding just the right title may have been one of the most difficult tasks in setting up a blog. At least it certainly was for me. I kept trying out various words and putting them together to see if it worked for me, but alas, none of them seemed quite right. Let's see, there was 'Mystical Meanderings', or 'Maudlin Meanderings', (I actually kind of liked that one) or 'Maniacal Mystical Meanderings.' I am sure that there are some who would say that the last one fits me perfectly. Then there was the 'Malingering Madness' or 'Melodious Malingering'. Not that the last one makes a whole lot of sense, but it sounds 'melodious'...I do like alliteration and for some reason, seemed to be hung up on the 'M's. I actually had another title in mind, but decided that it sounded way too suggestive and thus would not suit such a serious undertaking.

At any rate, for better or worse, I finally gave in and picked 'meaningless Meanderings'. Why? I just liked it, not any better or worse than any of the others but I suppose I thought it fit me.